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There was an expectation in my childhood home that we take responsibility for cleaning up after ourselves, especially in the single bathroom we all shared.  My mom made it clear that if we left for school with a messy bathroom she would clean it “her way.”  We knew “her way” would be painful but as busy teenagers none of us could be bothered.  One morning my Mom found the bathroom in a particularly bad way.  Damp towels and discarded underclothes littered the floor.  Makeup, hair spray, blow dryers and hot curling irons were spread across the counters.  She made good on her word and cleaned it “her way.”  When we went to get ready the next morning we found, to our horror, that all our stuff was gone.  No brushes, combs, curling irons, hair spray, makeup, towels. . .nothing.  My mom kept her cool when we demanded to know how she could throw away all our stuff.  She informed us that she didn’t throw anything out. She just put things away in the logical place.

Curling irons have a cord just like a blender, towels are soft like blankets and hair spray is a liquid.  I remember her smiling as she concluded with a good luck finding everything before school.  The expressions on our faces must have been priceless.  We had no recourse. We knew that we had brought this upon ourselves.  She warned us and now we had to face the music and let the scavenger hunt begin. Now that I am a Mom, I marvel at her ability to be so infuriatingly clever.  She dished out the consequences with a grace that I can only hope to posses.  How did she do it?  What did she know that I don’t know?

In the book Keys to Parenting your Teenager by Don Fontenelle he talks about the true purpose of enforcing consequences.  He stresses that at the end of the day you don’t enforce a consequence to get your child to perform a task but rather for them to learn that they are the ones who are ultimately responsible for what happens to them.  My Mom knew this, and I am just learning the importance of this lesson.  I get stuck focusing on the power I have as a Mom to get my kids to do what I want them to do.  Instead I need to give the power of choice to my children and then follow through with a positive or negative consequence when they make their choice.

If you followed the parenting advice in the previous blog entry on setting up expectations you should already have a good idea of what rules and consequences you are going to put in place. Now all you have to do is stick to them.

Fontanelli says that “after the expectations and consequences are clearly stated and the teenager makes a decision that will result either in negative consequences or in not receiving positive consequences, he may try to blame others for what has happened: for example, “It’s your fault that I didn’t get my license” or “You’re making me miss the dance on Friday night.”  If the adolescent uses this tactic, simply tell him, “It was your decision.  It’s your responsibility.  You knew what was going to happen to you before you did what you did.  I’m only following through with the consequences.”  Or you can try hiding their blow-dryer with the popcorn popper.

Be creative and follow through with enforcing the consequence every time.  Our teenagers need to learn that they are responsible for their actions not Mom, Dad or their math teacher.  If we constantly threaten consequences but never follow through with them our teen will never learn to take responsibility for their choices.  They have to face the music in order for them to learn from their mistakes.

Amber Alert GPS is an award winning company that specializes in child safety through the use of GPS tracker technology. The device is ideally designed for children ages 2-10, though they also have proprietary mobile apps for smartphone-carrying teenagers. Everything designed to give parents peace of mind when it comes to their children.

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It is true that teens do not like being told what they have to do.  However, the fact remains that having expectations of certain behaviors while they are living under your roof not only helps you survive the teenage years but helps them too.  As parents we have to be careful to set expectations that our kids can live up to.  Here are four guidelines to help you set up great expectations that will work for you and your teen.

1- Make your expectations reasonable.  Remember that list of non-negotiables you came up with when you were picking your battles?  Well now is a good time to put that to use.  Some of the common expectations we might have for our teens would be to maintain a certain grade point average, remain drug and alcohol free, pitch in around the house, show respectful behavior, use internet and phone technology properly, choose to participate in safe and wholesome activities, and obey the law.

2- Attach rules to your expectations. Expectations and rules are two different things (Setting Expectations And Rules For Your Teen).  Expectations are guidelines that help your teen know what standard of behavior is expected from them.  Rules are the tools that make those expectations a reality.  If you have an expectation that your teen maintain a certain grade point average, a rule would be that they are not allowed to go out with friends until their homework is complete.  A common household rule is a curfew.  This rule helps your teen live up to your expectation that they participate in wholesome and safe activities.  We all know nothing good happens after midnight.  Setting up rules for your expectations can be challenging but also rewarding in the fact that you and your teen have a clear understanding of  “why” they are following a certain rule.

3- Attach consequences to the rules. It is important to set up positive and negative consequence at the same time that you establish the rule.  Your teen needs to know exactly what is going to happen if they break the rule before they break the rule. On the other hand they also need to know what positive thing is going to happen when they keep the rule.  Rules and their consequences help your child with both understanding your expectations and learning self-control.  I highly recommend reading two key excerpts from Keys to Parenting Your Teenager by Don Fontenelle found at family education.com.  He goes into depth on how to set up these positive and negative consequences.

Setting Rules / Expectations and Consequences

Techniques to Set Rules and Consequences for Your Teen

4- Lay it on the table.  Sit down with your teen and lay out your expectations, rules and consequences.  Make sure to use very clear language and examples.  Verbal communication is not always enough. It may be helpful to write a contract that you and your teen sign.  Parentingteens.about.com has a wide variety of downloadable contracts that you can look at to give you an idea of what might work for you and your teen.

Parenting a teen requires some guesswork but setting reasonable expectations with attached rules and consequences eliminates some of it.  Your teen will have more control over their choices and you will feel more secure because you know that they know what the expectations are.

Award winning Amber Alert GPS, Inc. is a provider of mobile tracking and family and child safety solutions. The company’s founder, Russ Thornton, was motivated to develop the Amber Alert GPS device after a harrowing incident when he lost his young son for 45 minutes at an amusement park. The experience inspired him to develop a product that would not only prevent such incidents from happening, but provide a quick resolution in the event a child did go missing. Click here for more information on this GPS tracker technology.

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As a teenager I was very stubborn and extremely determined to make my life and my parent’s life as difficult as possible.  It didn’t matter how many privileges they took away, I was going to have fun rather then get straight A’s and no amount of nagging was going to get me to clean my room. Shocking as it may seem, when I look back at those years I don’t remember fighting with my parents. What I do remember is that when it came to matters of true consequence I always knew exactly where the line was drawn and didn’t dare cross over it.  Nor did I want to.  They taught me to value what mattered most. I realize now what my parents did that worked.  They picked their battles.  The question I have as a Mom is “ How do I know what battles to pick?”  It seems the minute our kids turn into teenagers, and sometimes even younger, they make mountains out of what used to be molehills.  Here are some suggestions to help you decide what hills you are going to die on.

1- Know your teen.  Learn to appreciate what motivates them, what they value, and what their strengths and weaknesses are.  Recognize that the teenage years are complex.  Changing hormones, pressure to conform and personal insecurities shape most of the battles you will fight with your teen.  Don’t compare your teen to their siblings, other teens or yourself as a teen. Worries that your teen may make the same mistakes you made robs her of the opportunity to prove herself.  Respecting your teen’s individuality will help you decide what issues are most important for your teen.

2- Draw your Battle Lines.   There needs to be a clear standard for your teen to follow.  Teens become exasperated when the standard is a moving target. With your spouse, take an introspective look at what you really stand for and what values matter most to you and your family.  These are your non-negotiables.  Here is a great parenting article from Thriving Family that you can refer to when you have to choose which battles are worth fighting, which battles you should avoid and which ones you should defer.

3- Let it go.  Even if you decide a certain behavior is not worth fighting over it still might bug you.  Find ways to make it ok.  Look for the silver lining.  Jen Klein from sheknows.com shares that although she doesn’t like her sons long hair, as long as he keeps it groomed she will let it go.  My mom learned to deal with my messy room by moving me to the basement so she didn’t have to look at it.  When I started dating a boy I really liked, I cleaned up my act and got to move back upstairs.  I knew living like a slob would not impress my new boyfriend.  At that time I also decided I wanted to get a college degree and my grades improved dramatically.  Hang on to the hope that if you choose your battles wisely and stick to your values your teen will grow up and find the motivation to fight his/her own battles.

Award-winning Amber Alert GPS, Inc. is the leader in child gps tracker technology and family safety. Our mission is to make the world a safer place for kids, providing family freedom without compromise. Combining the latest GPS technology and a feature-rich, easy-to-use platform for apps, Amber Alert GPS gives busy parents assurance of their child’s safety without sacrificing independence, whether at home or on-the-go.

As a Mother of four daughters, ranging in age from one to nine years, I get a lot of comments from strangers. Some of my favorites are, “I hope you have a lot of bathrooms at your house”  “Your poor husband”, “That is a lot of pink”, and “Just wait ‘till they are teenagers!”  I have a good sense of humor, which is imperative for a mom of four girls, so these little encounters give me a good laugh.  Yet the comment “Just wait ‘till they are teenagers” sends a little shiver of fear down my spine   I wonder why it bothers me?  After all, I grew up in a family of four girls and my parents survived.  Besides, it wasn’t that long ago that I was a teenager, right?  Still, I dread the day when my sweet child turns into that walking, talking hormonal disaster known as a teen.

What I realized was that “Just wait until they are teenagers” is more than a flippant remark.  It is a warning from someone who has been there; someone who looks at me and knows what I am about to go through.  So I am deciding to heed the warning.  I’d be fooling myself to think I could waltz through the teenage years without getting some really good advice.

For all you Parents that have teenagers and for those of you like me, who are done waiting, this week’s topic is for you.  Over the next five days I hope you will benefit from my search for the very best advice on parenting a teen.

Become the Expert

If you are reading this you are following the first piece of advice. Get educated about teenagers.  You may feel like it was just yesterday that we were teenagers but the world is a vastly different place.  As I expressed before, we are dreaming if we think we can get through these years without help.  We need to be empowered as we guide our children through the challenges that come with adolescence.

When it comes to your teen you need to be the expert on everything from emotional development, hormone changes, new technology, current trends, and social media.  There are lots of resources on the web that will help you learn everything you need to know.  I have collected links to some of my favorite websites to get you started.

A word of advice, when you search these websites go directly to the “search” and enter a keyword.  I used the keyword “teenager” on most of the links below.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology - Dozens of academic articles on everything from understanding the teen brain, drug and alcohol use in teens, internet and children, the effect of media and music on kids, and more.

The Palo Alto Medical Foundation also has some great articles focused on teen health.

Kids Health.org is another virtual file cabinet of articles you can browse.

The Online Mom has dedicated her site to help us keep up technologically with our kids.

SheKnows.com is a fun site by Moms for Moms.  The articles are collected from blogs and other parenting sites.  They share more personal experiences and have really diverse topics.

Amber Alert GPS is a child safety GPS company focused on making the world a safer place for kids. Our products include an award-winning gps tracker technology, specifically designed for children ages 2-10, as well as mobile apps for smartphone-carrying teenagers, allowing parents to keep track of all their children from one easy-to-use platform.

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Many studies show that breastfeeding offers many benefits to new babies, including improved health, since moms pass on helpful antibodies that help keep babies protected from illnesses, germs and more. Breastfeeding has actually been linked to lowering the risk of many health issues in babies, including stomach viruses, asthma, ear infections, respiratory infections and childhood leukemia. Breastfeeding also provides a special bonding experience for moms and babies and can also help moms take off “baby weight” after pregnancy. Of course, while breastfeeding offers many benefits, it’s not always easy. However, new technology and great new gizmos make breastfeeding easier for new moms.

Gentler Pumping with the Simplisse Double Electric Breast Pump

TheBump.com recommends the Simplisse Double Electric Breast Pump, which can make pumping milk a bit gentler for moms. Many pumps can make it uncomfortable to pump breast milk, but this electric pump uses compression technology, reducing the pulling and tugging that makes many other pumps so uncomfortable. While the pump costs about $225, enjoying a more comfortable, relaxing pumping experience can make it well worth the investment.

Nurse at Night with the Nurse-N-Glow Pillow

Many busy new moms enjoy nursing while in bed, where it often provides a more relaxing experience for both mother and baby. Bela Baby offers the Nurse-N-Glow pillow, which makes nursing in bed much easier, especially at night. The pillow actually provides a nice glow, offering soft light that is not bright enough to disturb the baby or a sleeping spouse. However, that LED light gives enough light to make it easier for the new mom to see clearly, even in the dark. According to the company, the pillow also helps to keep the baby’s spine aligned, which is an added benefit to this helpful nursing pillow.

Time Feedings with the Itzbeen Baby Care Timer

Keeping track of baby feedings can quickly become a problem, especially for moms that are lacking sleep. The Itzbeen Baby Care Timer allows you to time feedings and the incredible all-in-one device also allows you to keep track of baby diaper changes, the length of time the baby sleeps and more. In fact, in the article “10 Sanity-Saving Gadgets for Moms” at TheBump.com, it’s noted that the device has a nursing reminder as well, helping moms keep track of when it’s time to breastfeed the baby once again. Busy, sleep-deprived moms are sure to love this $25 device.

Test Breast Milk with MilkScreen

Last, Babyzone.com recommends a new, cutting-edge product that is designed to test your breast milk – MilkScreen. Some moms end up having a social drink after abstaining from drinking during pregnancy, but it’s important that moms don’t pass on alcohol to the baby. MilkScreen tests the milk to ensure there are not any traces of alcohol in breast milk if mom breaks down and has a drink. Of course, it is best to avoid drinking while you are breastfeeding, but this gizmo can be helpful if you do end up having a drink to preserve your sanity.

Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be difficult for new moms. While it can take a bit of getting used to, great new devices make breastfeeding easier, more comfortable and help moms keep track of feedings.

Amber Alert GPS is an award winning company that specializes in child safety through the use of GPS tracker technology. The device is ideally designed for children ages 2-10, though they also have proprietary mobile apps for smartphone-carrying teenagers. Everything designed to give parents peace of mind when it comes to their children.

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For moms that need some extra peace of mind, new baby monitoring technology has many great products to offer. Some moms like to be able to check on the baby visually without being in the nursery, which makes monitoring systems so helpful. Of course, advances in the field have offered more child safety features, providing moms with far more than simple monitoring. The following are just a few of the wonderful baby monitoring gizmos that moms can use to keep their mind at ease as they start the great parenting adventure.

iZon Remote Room Monitor

For moms that use an iPhone, the iZon Remote Room Monitor is an excellent option. In fact, according to FoxNews.com in the article, “High-tech Gadgets for Every Mom and Expectant Mom”, this video camera is app controlled and the video and audio collected can be easily streamed to iPhones, iPads and even iPod devices. Moms also have the ability to make the video stream to a YouTube account that has been made private. The monitor costs more than $100, but it does offer moms the ability to have alerts sent to their device when sound or motion is detected by the monitor.

WhyCry Baby Monitor

While baby monitors are not a new technology, the latest thing in baby monitoring happens to be the WhyCry Baby Monitor. Babyzone.com notes that this monitor helps moms to figure out why the baby is crying. The mechanism inside of this monitor actually analyzes the baby’s cry, noting the pitch of the cry to figure out why the baby is crying. It helps moms figure out if the baby is hungry, wet, tired or actually in pain. The great thing about the WhyCry Baby Monitor is that it has been proven to be accurate more than 90% of the time, which is impressive.

Avent Baby Monitor by Phillips

The Avent Baby Monitor from Phillips comes with a special Eco Mode, Humidity Sensors and Temperature Sensors. This monitoring device not only allows you to hear the baby, but it also shows you the time, keeps track of the temperature in the room and will even play music to help babies drift off to sleep. The two way speaker feature lets mom easily talk to the baby, comforting the baby, even when not in the nursery.

Levana Era Baby Monitor

One of the most exciting things about the Levana Era Baby Monitor is that it actually allows moms to snap pictures of the baby. Since moms usually don’t have their camera nearby when they notice their baby sleeping so beautifully, this monitor can help moms capture some special moments. Not only does it snap pictures, bit it takes video as well. Once pictures and videos are taken, they can easily be uploaded to a computer. This device will play soothing lullabies to the baby as well. For moms that have several cameras in the nursery or other rooms, the Levana Era has a special quad screen so moms can see multiple views at one time.

SafetoSleep Sleep and Breathing Baby Monitor

This is an example of how sophisticated baby monitors have become. This baby monitor from safetosleep.com not only provides a way to monitor your baby from another room, as far as crying and restlessness goes, but this monitor can also do some other amazing things: 1.) monitor every breath of your baby and then provide an alarm if there is any breathlessness at all or if your baby’s breathing becomes irregular, 2.) tracks your baby’s sleep time and even provides sleep quality reports, and 3.) links to your smartphone. Great product to help allay the fears a mother typically has with their newborn.

Award winning Amber Alert GPS, Inc. is a provider of mobile tracking and family and child safety solutions. The company’s founder, Russ Thornton, was motivated to develop the Amber Alert GPS device after a harrowing incident when he lost his young son for 45 minutes at an amusement park. The experience inspired him to develop a product that would not only prevent such incidents from happening, but provide a quick resolution in the event a child did go missing. Click here for more information on this GPS tracker technology.

One important parenting step to take when having a baby is child proofing your home. Child safety is extremely important when you bring that new baby home from the hospital and it’s important to already have safety devices in place. According to About.com, extra precautions must be taken for parents that have multiples, since multiples often work as a team to explore. The good news for new moms is that technology is on your side. Many great new safety gizmos are available to help you keep your baby safe and the following are some of the best options you may want to add to your safety arsenal.

Digital Bath Spout Covers

One great child safety gizmo every new mom will want at her side is the Digital Bath Spout Cover, which is one of the cool new contraptions mentioned at Babyzone.com in the article, “21^st Century Parenting: Gadgets and Gizmos that Make it Easier!“. This cover goes right over the bathtub spout, which can keep babies and toddlers from bumping into the spout and being injured. This spout cover also has a digital display that shows moms the temperature of the water coming out of the spout. Moms can easily refer to the Digital Bath Spout Cover, ensuring that the bath water is comfortable and safe for their baby. Other similar devices are available, such as devices that can be dropped into bath water to quickly tell moms the temperature of the water.

Pacifier Sterilizer

It’s important to keep germs away from your baby and many babies are exposed to germs because they drop their pacifiers and put them back into their mouth. When busy moms are on the go, it’s easy to simply wipe off a pacifier and give it back to the crying, cranky child. However, simply wiping it off with a sleeve probably doesn’t eliminate the germs that may be on it. A great product that will improve your child’s safety is the Pipila Portable UV Pacifier Sterilizer. This gadget can easily be slipped into a diaper bag and taken anywhere. If the pacifier is dropped, place it in the sterilizer and in minutes, it’s clean and free of germs. Some cheaper options for new moms are the new pacifiers designed to close when they drop, which generally cost about $10 for a single pacifier.

Toilet Locks

Unfortunately, babies and toddlers seem to be fascinated with the bathroom, especially toilets. Kids enjoy playing in the water and plunking toys into the water, but while it may be funny, toilets can pose a serious safety risk for young children. Toilet locks are one of the best child proofing devices to add to your home for improved child safety. These locks keep kids from getting into the toilet and some of the newest locks are fitted with alarms that can let you know when your child is trying to get into the toilet.

Technology definitely makes it easier for parents to keep young children safe from the many dangers that may be found within a home. From keeping the bath water at a safe temperature to products that keep kids out of the toilet, many great options are available. Some other great options to consider for child safety include sliding door locks, blind winders, stove guards, configurable child safety gates, drawer locks and electric outlet covers.

Award-winning Amber Alert GPS, Inc. is the leader in child gps tracker technology and family safety. Our mission is to make the world a safer place for kids, providing family freedom without compromise. Combining the latest GPS technology and a feature-rich, easy-to-use platform for apps, Amber Alert GPS gives busy parents assurance of their child’s safety without sacrificing independence, whether at home or on-the-go.

http://www.ibelieve.com/motherhood/10-ways-to-reconnect-after-baby.html

So you’re in love with your baby – but what about your husband?  It seems like so much energy and attention has been given to your new little one that perhaps hubby got lost along the way.  So how do you reconnect with hubby?  First of all, don’t beat yourself up.  This happens to most of us.  It’s such a new experience having your first child that it’s easy to get wrapped up in everything concerning baby.  But the experience can be so much sweeter if you include your spouse.  Here are a few tips that may help you two get back on track.

Include your husband in all the things you do for your baby – like feeding, bath time, and playing.  This can be a great time for him to bond with baby and it can also allow you to see him in a new light – as a father!  That can be very attractive!  Take some time for just the two of you.  Watch a movie or your favorite TV show together.  Put the baby in a stroller and go for a walk.  Do some of the things that you used to love to do together.  Let him know that he’s a priority and make time for him.  Do something special for him or leave a note where he’ll find it.  Little things can make all the difference.  For some ideas on how to make time for your hubby, check out BabyCenter.com.

Not feeling very sexy after giving birth?  Well, welcome to the club.  I don’t know of one new mom that does.  Unless your some celebrity that has the time and the money to get your body back in weeks, this honestly doesn’t happen for most.  You have so much to learn and get used to as a new mom, don’t put extra pressure on yourself to hurry and lose the weight.  Start slowly and be smart about how you do it.  Do things that make sense to you.  If walking was your thing before pregnancy, then walking is a good place to start once your doctor says you’re ready.  This is something that you can do with baby in the stroller and do at your own pace.  Get rest.  Don’t start a strenuous exercise routine until you’ve got the sleep thing somewhat figured out with baby.  Getting the proper amount of sleep helps aid in weight loss.  Also, I found that house cleaning helped me burn some extra calories.  I was home, my house was dirty, and I needed to get off the couch.  I was killing a couple birds with one stone.  Again, do things at your pace and what makes sense to you.  For some additional tips on getting back into shape, please check out this helpful information from BabyMed.com.

Amber Alert GPS, Inc., the award-winning provider of mobile tracking and family and child safety solutions, was founded by Russ Thornton, who was motivated by the temporary loss of his own child to develop a GPS child tracker device. His experience ultimately led to the development of the most comprehensive and feature-rich child tracking device and mobile phone apps which could prevent such incidents from happening to other families, but also provide a quick resolution should a child indeed go missing.